My blog was paused 

And so was all fun,

Success needs struggle

How could I run?

So I had to leave

When studies were high,

Now done with JEE-
What a big sigh!

Hi everyone👋 it feels amazing to be back here! This is the blog-post I dreamt of writing throughout my Senior Year; and finally, here I am😇

I'm over the moon, ever since the biggest exam of my life, the "J.E.E. Advanced" got over. It was on 18th this month; and I think it went fine. Not great, but just good enough... One can never tell!
So, no matter what the results are, I am at peace. After all the sleepless nights I've been through-enduring the struggles of JEE preparation-I feel so different than what I was 24 months ago. I've experienced so many things in the past two years that no description is enough. 

One thing I can tell-I faced defeats every single day. Failure to complete the DPPs (Daily Practice Problems, i.e., homework); failure to get a good rank in coaching tests; failure to ace even school tests; and failure to have a fit body, a calm mind and a peaceful soul.

All this was so hard to accept-given that I excelled until Class X-that I cried often. The stress took huge toll on my health but I still gave my best. Maybe not my best, just enough to get through.

Now that the hard times are over, I want to enjoy my life. Eventually, I will be sharing my JEE journey in detail-one post at a time. 

For this blog post, I want to tell you all the things I am doing NOW to have a happy, productive and meaningful vacation:

1. Health

Sadly, the one thing I had to sacrifice most was my health. The endless homework and pending studies meant that every second counts. Working out, sports and dance felt like a waste of time. Ironically, I spent that 'saved' time on watching JEE strategy videos and IIT vlogs. Trying to save time, I was wasting more instead!

Two years in, I found myself unhealthy in all sorts of ways- mental as well as physical (going into the details is rather mortifying). 

So as soon as the final exam (Advanced) got over, I started prioritizing my health. The next day itself, I joined the gym. All thanks to my brother (who is in a much healthier position than me) to make my workout plan as well as diet plan. 

Even the first day at gym felt comfortable-he was guiding me all along. I asked him all the silly questions about all equipment and he gave the best answer. (I wonder if I had to hire a trainer, would I be able to speak even?). 

It has been just three days, and I am excited to become healthier (and slimmer!). I eat whatever he tells me to, and there are no cravings! I have denied so many junk food offers in three days-I am proud of it. This feeling is rare.

2. Family and Friends

My family was the biggest support I had during JEE preparation. Such understanding parents and an encouraging brother smoothened the way for me. They did everything for me. I am so grateful. Now I am trying to do something for them. Cooking a meal, Cleaning the shelves, Decorating the house-is all in my to-do-list. Can't wait to surprise mom and dad with my hidden interior designer!

Talking about friends, I hadn't had a good talk with any of them from a long time. I craved the  hours of gossip, the juicy talks we used to have earlier. So, just after the exam got over, I re-installed my favorite social media app (WhatsApp!) and started reconnecting with my girl-friends. 

I had denied many of their invites, a school farewell invite, and missed hundreds of chats with them. You might wonder as to why I stopped chatting with them-people still have friends during JEE, right? 

Well, the only reason is that most of them chose biology. Here in India, math and biology folks have different paths during their respective journey through JEE and NEET. Different coaching, different level of study, and mainly, different schedules! When I was slightly free, my friends were preparing for their test next day; when they got time, I was busy. 

So keeping in touch was difficult. But deep within, I knew we'd forgive each other: for not talking like we used to do; for not partying like in Class X(my best year of high school)

And now, I am asking for forgiveness! I talked literally for four hours on phone to reconnect with four people. We talked of our future plans, and the plans for a get-together. We were all buzzing with energy and ideas of fun keep pouring in! 

We visited bookstores, jewelry stands, gift shops and food stalls. Most of our time was spent exploring various genres of books. Surprising fact- my 18-year-old friend was visiting a bookstore for the first time in her LIFE! Up until now, she just read school books -a few here-and-there. As for me, the only genre I had read was self-help. I couldn't focus long enough for a novel, and for short stories- they were already enough in school books.

But now, I am going to make us read everything! I am going to exchange books and read. Because I am bewitched by the hobby of reading now.

3. Researching for College Life

When I took the PMC (Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics) Stream after tenth grade, I was still wavering at the thought of leaving Humanities (History, Political Science, Geography). So much that I had purchased books for both streams! I didn't want to choose one; I wanted all-round education like in middle school. 

Forced to take a decision quickly, I took the subjects everyone suggested-PMC. But it was unfair... I liked Chemistry and History at the same time, why forced to choose one? Nevertheless, I learnt to 'learn' things even if I disliked it from the inside. That's how the education system is😔

Two years later, I am at the crossroads again! This time a much more complicated version of stream selection. Firstly, it depends on what rank I get in JEE Advanced. A good rank offers more freedom to select the Branch and the Institute of our choice. (Otherwise, we have to compromise on either of these😕) Then I have to think an 'optimum' branch-something which I would love to study, something which has good scope in future, something which is less burdensome, and something which pays well. 

So, there are popular branches like CSE (Computer Science Engineering) and EE(Electrical Engineering) and less popular ones like Civil and Metallurgy. I don't have a good idea of what is taught in these, so I first need to research on my own. Here's what I'll do- open the syllabus of various branches and read it thoroughly. Once I see the curriculum, I will know the basics of what I am stepping into. Then perhaps some YouTube videos describing the ground reality. 

Here's what I'll NOT do- Select the branch that 'toppers' select. Or blindly follow what people tell is a 'good' branch. No people-pleasing anymore!

4. My Passion and Hobbies

Classical dance has been an integral part of my life. I have been learning Bharatnatyam ever since I was five. It began as a hobby, but slowly it became my sanctuary. My dance teacher-who is also my favorite teacher- has a big role in it. She is ever-understanding, compassionate and teaches with so much devotion. Even if I did poorly, she guided me with patience🙇

I attended the dance class even during school tests and exams-until XI started. For the sake of JEE, I had to stop this even😔 But I promised my dance teacher that I will return as soon as my exams get over. Good news-I'm re-joining my dance class this weekend! There's a lot to cover up though, and train my muscles to do those quick steps.  

Another of my interests is sports. Basketball, badminton, races thrill me. So I am collecting all my friends for a 'sports day' and then start playing often. The only thing is- my friends aren't as athletic as I am. So what GENERALLY happens is that I keep running after the basketball while my teammates stop and wait for someone (me) to pass the ball into their hands😹

Conclusion

I am doing everything which I had planned during my JEE preparation days. I'm buzzing with energy and having so much 'healthy' fun! 

Healthy as in, my screen time is very less. I am not binge-watching shows, nor scrolling my time away. I simply don't have the urge to watch something. Instead, I feel like playing and journalling and reading and dancing ALL the time! The bad days are over; the good times have begun😇

I hope you too are having a good time. If your exams are due, study hard! As you can see, so much fun awaits once the exams are over🎉

Thank you for reading, 

See you soon,

Gauri 💕